SPEAKER_03 0:00

Were you teaching on September 11, 2001? Were you were you even alive on September 11, 2001? I have to ask that question because I was alive, but I was in fourth grade, but somebody very close to me was not only in the classroom on September 11, 2001, but was in New York City teaching. And today I'm gonna have a conversation with my mom about what is it like to keep showing up for the students in your classroom when the world around you is crumbling. Literally. All that is happening today on this episode of the New Teacher Big Impact Podcast. Impact begins now.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

New Teacher Big Impact.

SPEAKER_03 0:35

Welcome to New Teacher Big Impact the Podcast. I'm your host, former terrible teacher, turned two-time teacher of the year, Daryl Williams Jr. And today I've got with me one of the most special guests I could ever have on the podcast, which is my mom. I talk about her all the time, and I tell you, she's an educator, she's currently a school counselor, all the great things. But one thing that you might not know is that, yeah, she was teaching in New York on September 11th, 2001. So, first of all, mom, thanks for inviting me to the home.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

You're welcome. It is your home as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Yeah, yeah. We're having a great time. Um, so you know, I told you that we're gonna be having this conversation. Just be open, honest. We've spoken about it um in bits and pieces. And again, I was in fourth grade. I remember you teaching in the city, and I'm I still remember the sight of you walking home or walking into the house at the end of the day, covered in soot or whatever you would.

unknown 1:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

So I want to bring the listeners in on this conversation about what it was like being in teaching in New York, you know, at that time, you know, how you showed up with students, how re-entry was after school, you know, after things pass and you going back into school, and just your thoughts and insights and feedback that you can give to teachers who are saying, I'm going through a lot in life, you know, and my personal life has a lot going on, but I still feel called to serve the students in my classroom. How do I juggle both? How do I show up for them?

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Of course.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Yeah. So one thing I find is that is really interesting that people don't know. Well, even before we get into that, you know, every episode on the podcast, I talk about the fact that new teacher retention really comes down to three pillars. And I call it a system before strategy framework. And when we have this system in place, it helps new teachers stick around. There are three drivers of new teacher retention. One is how leaders see them, two is how teachers see themselves, and three is how the school feels to be a part of. For this conversation, we're gonna really dive into pillar number two, which is how teachers see themselves. Do I see myself as somebody who was capable, who was strong enough, who can show up and support students when literally the world around me is crumbling down?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

When everything is going wrong, and I've got things going on in my personal life. You know, am I the person that can put that aside, or should I be the person that puts that aside and shows up to serve the students that are in my classroom? When teachers see themselves as capable, they tend to stick around. So in this conversation, we want them to walk away with the belief that I've got what it takes.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Is that alright? Can you do that? We're gonna make it happen. Let's do it. So, first of all, what people probably don't know, I always talk about the fact that you are an educator, active educator, been educated for 20 plus, 30 plus ish years.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

26 years. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

All right. What but but you actually worked in the World Trade Center. Talk to me about that. I've been talking this whole time. Talk to me about that. What were you doing and how long were you there? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

So um I secured a job at Morgan Stanley, Dean Whitter, um, 1995, and as a mutual fund accountant. So I have a degree in accounting. Um, and so I worked at the World Trade Center for five years doing mutual fund work. Um, and it was not my favorite thing. I always had a passion for teaching. Um, but when I would announce to adults, you know, that I was interested in teaching, there was a lot of negative feedback. Like teachers don't make money, kids are rude, parents don't listen to you. Um and so I changed my mind. So instead of majoring in education, I majored in accounting. Um and I worked at the World Trade Center for five years. Um, and really towards the end, maybe March or so, one of my colleagues said to me, Oh, Maya Kotch is doing a program to bring corporate workers into the classroom. And I was like, What? Um, because I hadn't heard of it, but she had, and she knew that I wanted to be a teacher, so she shared that information with me. And she was telling me, Oh, yeah, the deadline is Friday, and it might have been like a Tuesday. And I was like, What? Um, so I went home, went on the website, and looked at all the requirements, spilled out everything, and just kind of said a prayer and hoped that things work out for you know in my favor. Um, and so weeks later I was um after going through the process of interviewing, I had to do a like a mock teaching lesson. I don't know if you remember because you were my guinea pig.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

No at all.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

And um, then I was selected, and so then going through the process of becoming certified and all that was was awesome. But yeah, always wanted to teach.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

I didn't know you always wanted to teach. I knew that I I thought you always wanted to sing. You know, I I knew you were in the choir in high school. But so you in high school you wanted to teach? You said your major you chose.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I always wanted to teach. Ever since I can remember, um, I would come home from school and I would sit down with my younger sister and I would teach her things. And I remember giving her a spelling test. And this might sound horrible, but one of my favorite things to do was like to mark everything wrong and put like a red F on her paper, and I would be like, You failed! And of course she failed because she was three years younger than I was, she didn't know anything. Um, but I always wanted to teach ever since I stepped foot into um a classroom. Um, and it might have been just the way teachers were welcoming.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Yeah. So welcoming teachers kind of inspires you to be that for somebody else. Yeah. So, but you went into corporate listening to people, and a lot of people say the same thing. I asked a question on social media, really trying to get feedback, and I asked, what is advice you would give to new teachers? And that post went viral for me, thousands of uh views and hundreds of comments, and the majority of the comments, mom, they were like, Turn back now, don't do this, save yourself while you can. I was like, I was really looking for you know feedback from new teachers. I was like, Do educators really you know turn the other educators away? Yeah, um, and I mean even having people said you changed your home major or you know decided to go accounting. So take me through the those five years in accounting. Were you like were I hating it every day, or was it okay?

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, so the best part was getting dressed, right? Because it's corporate America. Everyone was wearing suits and pumps at the time. Um, well, you wouldn't wear your pumps to work. You had on your sneakers and you carried your pumps to work, but it was very corporate, very professional. Um, and so that kind of gave me the vigor to keep moving forward, but I disliked every single minute of it. Um every single minute. So in mutual fund, it's it's not like a constant work from nine to five. Um, you would come in, and my responsibility was to check the prices of the funds, the stocks and the bonds, right? And make sure that everything was put in correctly. And literally, I waited until the market closed to do that same thing again. Check and make sure the prices were incorrectly. And um, sometimes people would request selling their stocks or selling a bond that I would handle that, but it wasn't a constant on your feet. So, you know, it was a little but also wasn't my passion. Yeah, you know, I didn't love it. Um, I loved accounting at the time when my mom did it because she had the adding machine, the old ones with the tape. Yeah, and I loved the sound. She would just sit there and the tape would just roll, and then she would bring things home from work and we would help her with it, she would pay us, and I was like, oh, okay, this could be an alternative. Um, but it was never, it was never my first love. And so I struggled through five years, and after five years, after being accepted into the the program, then I was like, Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

That's it. It's funny that you mentioned that the attire, your favorite part was getting dressed. Because I remember, I don't know if you remember this, but you know, you obviously worked at the World Trade Center. I remember going with you a couple of times. They had like Christmas giveaways. Yeah, yeah. And I would go with you. You would go up. What floor were you on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Oh my word. I remember getting off at the 72nd floor, but I think I still had to travel an in another elevator, so it might have been above the 72nd floor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

So I remember it was high. I remember that. And we would go there. But I remember saying to you, man, I want to. I said, What do you do, Mom? What do you do? You said, I'm an accountant. I said, I want to be an accountant when I grew up. You're like, why? I said, because I wanted to wear a suit to work. You remember that? Yes. Yes, yes. And you're like, you know, you can dress nicely in whatever profession you choose. I was like, really? Now you see me on stage in my green suit and everything. But my first, my first year teaching, my first two years, I don't think anybody that I worked with ever saw me without a tie. Even on the day students were not in the building, I showed up with a tie on a certain tie. I just, I just like you said, I just like getting dressed.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

I like getting dressed. That was the best part of accounting.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Okay, so you transitioned. Um you said, you know, I'm gonna go with seventh education. Once you first got there, so that was 2000. You know, I hope people are tracking. So 1995, five years. So 2000, you said, I'm done, I'm leaving, I'm gonna go and uh step into the classroom. You did you step in the classroom in fall of 2000 or when? Yeah, teachers are burning out faster than ever. Confidence is dropping, imposter tension is rising, and too many classrooms feel like survival instead of transformation. But what if it doesn't have to be this way? Great teaching is a magic, it's the method. And inside the Impact Playbook, you'll discover the six principles that thousands of teachers are already using to reconnect their passion, engage their students, and build classrooms that thrive. This isn't just another book that collects dust on itself. It's a complete system that helps teachers step into their strengths, prevent burnout, and create learning that's fixed. If you're looking to see a drop in teacher turnover and a boost of student engagement, the prince on the right-hand side of the book. So if you're a teacher ready to reclaim your confidence or a district leader ready to transform entire schools, click the link to get the Impact playbook today. Because when teachers win, students win and entire communities win, and the world has changed forever.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

So um after being accepted into the program, we had to do uh maybe two months, like during the summertime, learning how to be a teacher and studying for the praxis. Um because you know, we didn't have education background, education classes, and so they wanted to make sure that we knew adequate knowledge, right? So we graduated, yes, we had degrees, but do we have the you know adequate knowledge in art, music, science, math, reading, you know, to deliver that content to others? Um so we took two months of just really strenuously learning the education platform. Um, you know, it takes everyone four years, right? Your four-year degree, and you graduate and you have a degree in account in um education, but for us we were fast-tracked, and so we went nine to five, just learning and studying, and then after two months we had to take the praxis exactly. After two months, um, you know, they figured your experience in corporate America would would fill in the gaps, so to speak. So I took the praxis and I hadn't heard back, I didn't get any results in the mail. Um, and then they said this is the school you're attending where you would be teaching at. And um, when I got there, the principal was like, Well, I don't have your scores. And I was like, Well, I took the test. And so she sat at her computer and she typed in my name, and she says, You know, if you don't pass the praxis, you won't be working here. So meanwhile, I had already quit.

unknown 12:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

And so if I hadn't passed, like I would be out of a job for sure. Um, so she sat there and typed in my name. She said, You passed, and I was like, and then it all started.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

That was that was it in Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

That was the in Brooklyn, Brownsville. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Right there. I do remember that that you were working in Brooklyn. So then that means that 2001, September 11, 2001, would be would have been the beginning of your second year teacher.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Yes. Yes. Like new teacher.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Yes, like new, new, almost like really new because my first year as a kindergarten teacher, I want to say I had seven students.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

What?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yeah, just seven students. And so it was intense. I didn't know anything. I did not know what I was doing. Like seven total? One duty of five seven. Um and I didn't have any skills of my own, so I really echoed the teachers around me, you know, their language, their behaviors, and their their rules and their expectations because I didn't have any of my own. So with my seven students, you know, I muddled through. Um but I mean, I learned a lot. I learned a lot with the seven students. I learned that um kids come with a lot of deficiencies and teachers have a greater responsibility than just teaching math and science and reading and writing. It's it's a lot deeper than that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

So then year two, did you read kindergarten?

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Um, so the principal came to observe me, and I I know what lesson I was doing, and I we were comparing the size of our feet. So we were stepping on aluminum foil that was on top of a towel. I don't know where I got this idea from. But we were um comparing our footprints to each other's and deciding what that meant. How how could that explain who we are? So just by looking at a footprint, can you tell me something about the person? I don't know where the idea came from, but at the end, at the end the principal said, Come to my office later. And I was like, ooh. And so I went to her office and she said, You are too mature for kindergarten. And I didn't know what that meant at the time, but after she put me in third grade, I understood. Um, I was really passionate about reading. I wanted kids to be able to read and access literature and be able to have discussions. So 9-11, I was teaching third grade for the first time, and it I want to say I had 32 or 33 students.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

From 73.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Seven to 33. And when I tell you I had nightmares, I'm not even exaggerating. Nightmares. Um because I wanted to do well. Yeah. And I didn't want the children to suffer because I didn't know what I was doing or I wasn't well prepared.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

So we were because I'm I'm wondering how much of your own children, like raising your own children, influenced like your grade level ability. Because I was in fourth grade in 01. So did Rodana Deani and like kindergarten they were in school?

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

So yeah. So I can see you were right in that kindergarten to third grade range at home.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Bringing that day into school. Okay, so here we go. Second year, 32 students, third grade. You're already having nightmares at the beginning of the school year. Now it's September 11th, yeah, 2001. Take me through that that morning. Um I'm sure it started off as any other day, right? That's how every story starts. It started off as any other day. Yeah. But um, if I recall correctly, I think the towers first struck was eight something in the morning, it's pretty early. So you were in class in Brooklyn, in Brownsville, classroom with 32 students. Talk me through that day, that morning of September 11, 2001.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Yeah. Um, and so it's early in the year, right? So it's it's a lot of practicing um the rules and expectations. So we're not deep into any kind of content or anything. Um, but I was very structured, and so everything was timed, and so I'm moving through my day in a structured time, rigid time way. And then um the phone in my classroom rings. And so I hurried over to it. And it's unusual for the phone to ring. If the principal needs anything, typically she doesn't call on the phone. Um, she might even just come into your classroom or send somebody up, but the phone rarely rang. Um, and you know why I mean you're teaching students, so the phone rings and I go over to it and I'm like, hello. And it was my husband, your father. And I was like, Why are you calling me? I'm teaching, I'm in the middle of teaching. What is it? And I'm rambling going on, like keeping an eye on the students and talking on the phone at the same time. And he was like, Um, haven't you heard? And I was like, heard what? What is it? Tell me, share, hurry up, you know, kind of a thing. And then, you know, he told me that the towers had fallen, and um then he was asking me, How are you gonna get home? And I was like, Well, I guess before he mentioned the towers had fallen, he said, Well, how are you getting home today? And I was like, What do you mean I'm getting home the same way I normally get home? And he was like, Oh no, you can't because the the towers have fallen and um transportation has shut down, and I was like, What are you talking about? And so I go to the window in my classroom. So I'm in Brooklyn and I'm on the second floor, third floor of the school building, and I'm looking out the window and I can see smoke rising from across the water. And I was like, What? I mean, just hard to believe, you know, that anything like that could happen in in that day and age. Um, so he proceeds to tell me, yes, you know, um, this and this is happening and all of the things, and so I hang up and I'm literally waiting for the principal to walk in or make an announcement or say something, and that that didn't happen. Um, what started happening was they were calling for students to for early dismissal. And so um after a while, I was like, okay, well, what do we do now? Um, and so not until later um the principal came on and shared the information with us, and um by that time we were in neighborhood schools, so most of the uh parents just came to the school and um picked up their children for dismissal. Um and then the end, well towards the end of the day, the principal just called all the teachers together and kind of explained what was going on and um, you know, kind of was like, uh, I don't know how everyone's gonna get home. Um I wish you good luck, you know. Um we'll keep in touch to let you know, you know, what's happening going forth to when to return to school and all that. But it was it was very scary and um I wasn't informed. I don't think I was informed early enough. Um so I just went into a mode of um kind of like, well, what do I do next? And trying to make sure that the students were not like not overly excited, but uh getting upset or anxious or scared. Um I did have one student who had an aunt that worked in the World Trade Center and she was um she was worried and she started crying, and so just trying to comfort her as much as possible um through it until she was picked up and um yeah, but it was it there was a lag, I feel, in the communication between when it happened and when the principal responded to us and told us anything.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

But you knew what was going on because dad called.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

So I want to talk about your mindset of how you thought you had to show up for students in that moment. Now that you were aware of what's going on, it might have been nine o'clock in the morning, right? Now that you're aware of what's going on, principal hasn't said anything. You're the moral authority in that classroom, and you have to figure out what I'm gonna do with these students that are still here. You know, people leaving because of early dismissal. But the one thing that just hit me is you know, you were just there 18, 14 months ago, 16 months ago. Was that at any point that that's it in that hit? Did you think about coworkers or friends that you had in the building at the time and things like that?

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I had uh my supervisor actually, because he would get there really early in the morning um just to, you know, start his day, make sure that everything was in order. And my first thought was about him, um, because I knew he would have probably been in the building early. Um, and of course my co-workers as well. But um, yeah, so my mind went there, you know, all my friends and and the people that I knew and everybody that was in the building. And the thing about the World Trade Center is it's not just offices, right? So below on the deck, I don't I don't know what to call that space, but um there were shops. Yeah, I remember shops. There were shops, there were food courts, there were there was a whole lot going on, so it's not just workers, it's could be anyone, tourists, anyone walking in that space at the time. Um, so yeah, definitely worried. But um later on, later on, found out that you know everyone was fine and safe. They were not a part of um, you know, the collapsing of the building, but then beyond you know their safety, also worrying about like their jobs, like what's gonna happen now for them. And so um there was an office in New Jersey, so they were able to just transition over there, but yeah, definitely thought about them for sure.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Did you ever think about what would have happened if I didn't decide to become a teacher? Yeah, and what if I was there that day?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Yeah, I'm not typically on time either, so or early. True, you know, I I would have been, I don't know, walking into something, but yeah, I believe you know, God has plans, you know, and um we have to listen to his voice. And it wasn't on a whim that I wanted to be a teacher, it was forever. And when this opportunity came with three days left, and I had To do you know this shuffle to get it done, it only could have been his plan. And so, um, not dismissing that, like you just left there. That you could have very well been, you know, a casualty. Not dismissing that, but um just leaving it up to knowing that God had a plan for me.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Yeah, yeah. And use teaching to save your life, yeah. In many ways, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

In many ways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

So now back to that specific day, I kind of set it up a little bit earlier. You know what's going on, dad called, you've got information. You also have maybe not 32 students in class, but 27, right? So that's the thing today in the class. What is your mode? Like what mode do you go into? What's your mindset? Like, how do you show up now in the moment?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Yeah. And so first I had to wrestle with it on my own, right? So he's telling me this information and it's going through my mind, and I'm thinking about my coworkers, I'm thinking about other people, I'm thinking about all that. And then once I settled into, okay, well, there's little you can do for them, right? Right now you have these students in front of you. So it was me processing the information, deciding that that is not something I can control, this is what I can control. And so just like transitioning over to that and um thinking, what am I gonna say to them? Because you know, you have to be careful because I didn't want to start any kind of pandemonium. And since the principal hadn't said anything, I almost felt like it wasn't my duty to share. So students were um kind of whispering, kind of like, why are they leaving early? What's going on? You know, because it it was unusual, because it wasn't one, it was like two, and then three, and then you you know, you're like, what's happening? Um so I told him, you know, I'm not sure what's happening right now. I'm sure the principal is gonna let us know what the next steps are. So in between waiting for the principal to give us information, we just carried on with the day. Because I feel like if there's structure, then there's some calm. You know, if they know what's coming next, then they can be calm. But if we sat there and I was like, I don't know what to do, I don't know where it it would, it would start something that I couldn't I probably wouldn't be able to control.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

And uh it's funny you put it that way, or it's interesting that you put it that way, because I never thought about it. It's kind of like the flight attendant, which, you know, in this season where you know, a flight attendant, when there's turbulence, and you look at the flight attendant and they're peacefully sitting or strapped in, or they're still going up and down the aisle giving out, you know, peanuts and juice, you're like, okay, the if the flight attendant's not panicking, right? I'm okay. Right. So maybe the same thing is happening with the students. They're whispering amongst themselves. They obviously something's going on. They're third grade, they know why are five students leaving early, but then they look to you and oh, we're still we're still doing reading for 90 minutes. Oh, we're still gonna have snacks, we're still transitioning to special. Like we're this the structure and the calmness probably is what helped.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yeah, yeah, I absolutely believe that. And um, typically a calm person anyway, I don't get too flustered. Um, but I knew that I had to maintain, and I knew that it I couldn't give out that information yet. Because one, because I didn't hear it for myself, you know, like I heard it from someone else, and I didn't want to give out the wrong information. And so I was waiting for the principal because I knew if this was serious, then someone is going to contact her and going to tell her the script, you know, to share with the staff and to share with the students that are still in the building. And so I waited for that.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

So to share a little bit of my story, um, again, I was in fourth grade where my class I was in Staten Island, where my classroom was positioned, uh, we could see the towers. So I remember, I believe I had like a first period specials or something like that. But I remember that there were a lot of teachers crying early on, and then they started rolling in the TVs, um, like the you know, like it was 2001. So yeah, the TV, the TV cards. Yeah, they were rolling it into the classroom and they were like watching the news. So I knew from the beginning, you know, what was going on, and I was like, whoa, this is crazy. So we were seeing the replays over and over and over on the TV. Like we were watching it, and then again, just looking at the window, same night as you're saying, I was seeing the smoke and things like that. I was one of the earliest students to be picked up though. So I don't that's what I'm asking about, like what the rest of the day looked like. And Tikani, your sister, came and picked us up probably by 9 a.m. Um, you know, so she uh she picked up me and my cousin and we went home. So I was home for most of that day, but just wondering like what I couldn't imagine what it's like for the students who were just there, you know, maybe parents couldn't come pick them up and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Yeah, yeah. And for sure, some of them were scared because they're third graders. If their parents worked in Manhattan, they're thinking that their parents are in the middle of this because they don't know, they're little. Um, and so for a lot of them, you know, waiting to be picked up or being picked up by cousin or grandma, not their parent, they started to, you know, write their own stories about what could possibly be happening. So yeah, there was there was a lot of um some anxiety, especially with the kids that were l the latest or the latter ones to leave. Um, yeah, they started creating their own stories because they didn't know what was happening to their to their family members.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Yeah, I know I was making things up because your other sister, anyvanka, I remember that she worked close to the tower. So not being in communication. That was, you know, I didn't have a cell phone for sure, so I it might have been pre-cell phone time for most people, but I definitely didn't have one. And I could just remember thinking, like, yo, what is she okay? Like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah. But even so with the cell phones, they weren't working.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Oh, the service was down?

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yep, the service was down. So you could have a cell phone, but it wouldn't be any help. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

So let's use this as an analogy because in that moment, the world around you was literally crumbling down. But perhaps there's a teacher listening or an administrator listening who has a figurative world crumbling down where there's things going on outside of school. You know, they're going through a separation, or there's financial struggles, or somebody at home is sick. You know, just things going on that cloud your mind. And you have to come to the school building every day and show up, and there's students who also have things going on outside of school. I was just saying, students in your class, the 27 that are left, or now I'm anxiety, you know, written. Think about some family members at home. Everybody comes to school with stuff. Teachers and students alike, you know, administrators, everybody's coming to school with stuff. How do you show up in those moments? I know you're a counselor now. What would you say to somebody who's wondering, how do I show up in those moments when I'm dealing with stuff, they're dealing with stuff, but we still have a goal that we have to achieve.

unknown 28:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

If you would like for your school district to be empowered as well, you can click the link down below and our team will reach out to you.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

And that's tough because we're humans, right? And we feel things. Um, and it's hard to car compartmentalize, compartmentalize your feelings, right? So I gotta turn them off when I get into the school building, and then I can turn them back on when I get home. It just doesn't work like that. But I think one thing that helps me is um I have to think about my purpose, right? So I signed up to be a teacher, and so I want to be the best teacher for my students, and part of that is being mentally prepared for them. And so, yes, things are happening in my life, but when I get to the school building, it has to go to the back. Not forgetting, not neglecting, but I'm pushing it to the back so that the students become my focus now. Um, and so showing up in a way that is not fake, but it's a way that students deserve. They deserve my 100% mental capacity to be focused on them and for me to um make a decision that they're important right now and my other things that are going on in my life take a backseat temporarily until I can have the time and the space to deal with it. Um yeah, it's being genuine, it's it's thinking about people are coming with their own stuff as well, and so being kind, you know, saying good morning, um still helping, still teaching with passion and purpose. Um, and so I see, I mean, with teachers showing up with their own things, I would definitely say just set it to the back, you know, and and show up for your students in a way that they deserve.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

I love it. Yeah, so eloquently put. And I'm sure that that was a such a scary time. I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine some things happen that are like fantasy. I can't even imagine we lived through that or that actually happened, you know?

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

But um, as we land the plane, I really it it didn't stop there because the school day ended. And as I mentioned earlier, I remember how you looked when you finally entered the house at whatever nine, ten o'clock at night. Um, again, so we're in New York, you know, we lived in Staten Island, you're working in Brooklyn, public transportation was the way that you got around. When the school day ended, how did you get from Brooklyn, New York, back home to Staten Island? What did you see? What did you experience? What was that journey like?

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Yeah. So I don't want to make myself sound incapable, but literally when I left Staten Island in the morning to go to work, I took the same path all the time, right? I got on the ferry, I got on one train, I transferred to another train, and then I walked maybe two or three blocks to school. Never anything different on this day when transportation is no longer working. I I couldn't even conjure up another way to get home. And so no one else in my building was from Staten Island. I was the only person from Staten Island, and so I couldn't even group with people, you know, and be like, let's all figure this out together. I was literally on my own. So I knew that there was a bus and it was going to downtown Manhattan, and I was like, okay, downtown Manhattan, Staten Island, they're close together. I got on a bus. Um, and so the bus took us the distance and then it stopped. So like, okay, everybody get off. And I was like, uh, this does not look like where I can catch the ferry. And I literally had to walk over a bridge. And as I'm walking to get to the bridge, it looked like the end of the world. There was ashes all on the floor. So I'm in Manhattan now because the bus took us from Brooklyn to Manhattan. It just dropped us. There's ashes all over. There are stores that are just left, doors are open, car doors left open. Um in New York, you have those carts where people are selling like coffee and breakfast and don't just all just everything abandoned and covered with soup. But as I'm walking, things are still falling from the sky. And um the smells, I mean, it really was like I felt it was the end of the world. And I could not call anyone, I couldn't communicate, nothing was working, and so I couldn't even call someone who would help me to figure out how to get home. And so I kind of like just followed a crowd. There were other people who were walking across the bridge, and I'm like, Lord, I hope this is the way to get home. And so I walked over the bridge, and I remember I was wearing like red platform sandals, and my feet were like, but I struggled through it and I got over the bridge, and when I got over the bridge, I could see the Statement ferry ahead. And so um, yeah, I just literally followed a crowd and I got to the ferry, and it was ridiculous. There were so many people. Probably three ferries left before I got on.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Just packed with people?

SPEAKER_00 34:17

It was too packed for for them to um let anyone else on. Um, and so it it took a while, um, but I was able to get over there. Yeah, I don't know what I looked like.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

I remember what you look like a ghost.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

But yeah, things were things were still falling when I was walking um over the bridge, and all I kept thinking was these people, you know? What a terrible thing that happened to them. You know, what a terrible way. What a terrible way to go.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

And so you do you remember about what time? I remember it was dark.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

It was dark, but when I started my trip, it was not dark. Yeah, it wasn't dark.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

So that's kind of like right after school.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Probably before school. Um once all the students were gone, then you know, we got permission to leave. Um and that happened fairly quickly. But um I don't remember the time, but I remember it took a long time.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Because every transportation mode that I had to take was packed. And so one bus would come, but there were so many other people in front of me. I just I had to just wait each turn. But just through it all, just kept thinking of the families and the people, you know, that um has suffered and gone through such a horrific situation. Um, but yeah, I will never forget the smells and the sights of just walking downtown Manhattan trying to get home.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

And I know you don't remember the very next day, but at some point you have to take that, that trauma that it that you experienced and go back to school. Yeah. And go back to 32 students. And do you remember like kind of re-entering school after that?

SPEAKER_00 36:47

I don't exactly remember how many days it was, but I knew that when I got back that I wasn't going to spend a lot of time talking about 9-11. Um I didn't have any counseling skills then, and we didn't have a counselor in the school. We did not have a counselor.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

So on purpose you wanted to avoid it because you didn't feel capable to like help them through that?

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Not only not only avoid it, but every student didn't return on that day. And so they in their family they suffered some kind of a loss. Um I didn't want to bring it up in a way that would set students off, you know, make them feel uncomfortable or make them upset. And so um spent a little bit of time talking about it, you know, like something horrible happened, and we all know that something horrible happened. Um, but you know, we're gonna continue to move forward, you know, um, and yeah, and just you know, pray for those families that have lost loved ones, but we're gonna continue for moving forward and do our best while we're here.

unknown 37:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

Do you remember how that year kind of ended up for you in your first and your third grade, your first time tested area? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00 38:06

So because I wasn't, I didn't major in education, I always felt that I didn't know enough. So I absorbed so much. I I mean every PD I was just like taking notes and just sinking, just letting it sink in. But not only that, I used it like right away. And so I always felt like I was catching up to everyone else who had a degree. Um it wasn't a perfect year. It was we're not gonna say her name. One of my favorite students. She taught me the most about teaching. Um it was a hard year, not just because of 9-11, but because of 33 students, but because it's third grade, but because it's my second year of teaching, and I only started with seven kindergartners who never tested, who didn't have to read, who didn't have to learn math and fractions. So it was a lot, but I'm proud of the way it ended because absolutely students learned. Students grew. Um, and I feel every year after that, I just got better at it because I wanted to learn. I wanted to be good at teaching because I felt like I was behind and I had to catch up with everyone else, and so I just absorbed everything, just let everything sink in. Read a lot, practiced with you guys a lot before I went to teach it. Um, just wanted to be really good at it.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

And that desire is what put you on the path to learn the skills necessary to be great, right? Because eventually, you know, teacher of the year a couple times. How many times do you teach of the year?

SPEAKER_00 39:42

Two.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

Okay, good. I always say I was a terrible teacher, turned two times teacher of the year, but um I guess I get that from somewhere. You teach on teacher the year yourself.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

I know I thought you were gonna pass me, and I was like, You know what?

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Give me one more crack at it. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Well, we're both out of it now, so we it's a tie. There we go. There we go. I'll take it.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

I'll tie it with you.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

Yeah, yeah. Um, I wouldn't say I started out terrible. I started out just not knowing.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

Yeah. And I wouldn't say you started out terrible. Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

I thought the nightmares said something different, but it's definitely a mindset.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

Like, what does terrible even mean? You know, to me, to you, but I don't think you start out terribly. But I do think that there are a lot of teachers who are early maybe in their career and have a similar passion, a similar care, a similar drive. And maybe they're saying, like, I don't think it's ever gonna click for me. I don't think it's ever gonna make sense, like I'm never gonna get this. That's why 47% of new teachers leave before year five. And one of the reasons that I believe it happens based on the research that I've done is because um burnout sets in before confidence has a chance to activate. Which means I before I start believing I'm capable, I get overwhelmed, I get burnt out, I get stressed, and I say I'm gonna go do something else. I see that happen in so many new teachers. So we'll land the plane here. I know we're having an amazing conversation. We can keep it going for hours and hours, but the analytics showed me that people probably stopped watching by now. Anyway, but those who are still here locked in and listening until the end, uh, let's give them that one takeaway. You you kind of just said it, but I want you to just just to stamp it. You had the care, you had the passion, you had the drive. You weren't, you did not feel adequate yet at this point in your career, but something inside of you drove you to learn the skills necessary to be highly effective. What was that thing? How like how do I hone that?

SPEAKER_00 41:36

I felt after I decided that I wanted to be a teacher, I felt like I owed it to my students. I felt like their learning was my responsibility. And if they didn't learn, it was my fault. Not that they come from a terrible background or um they didn't learn their letters and sounds before they left kindergarten. It was my responsibility. How they came in was not my responsibility, but how they are leaving was mine. And so I took it upon myself to make sure that I was showing up the right way, right? So I did the yelling and the screaming, you know, in the beginning because I didn't know any better. And I had to learn that kids have feelings. Um but I was the adult in the room, right? And so I learned early. I don't need to argue, right? I'm the adult, I'm smarter than you, we're not arguing, right? Um, I learned to consequence, um to be firm but kind in my consequence, right? Um, I learned to start over new every day. So if a student did something that I didn't appreciate or went against the rules that we had decided on, the next day, I started over. Right? And so I build community in my class. What happened in our classrooms, I dealt with. I I didn't call the dean, I didn't call the principal, I called parents a few times, but we really built community. You know, I started doing morning meetings before morning meetings was a thing. Um if something happened at recess, I did not do math. We talked about what happened at recess. And that might sound scary to some people, however, um that lasted for maybe a month. But after that, then everybody understood how to treat each other. You know, and um I loved every student. So the kid that comes in not looking the best, not smelling the best, I gave them a hug anyway, and I treated them like everybody else, you know. Um and so I think that's where it starts, you know, understanding that the students in front of you are your responsibility. Start over every day, build community, have conversations with them, see them, you know. Um and it's hard, teaching is hard, and it probably will always be because we're dealing with human beings, right? And there's no one size fits all. But I think what always works is a teach is a student recognizing your compassion and your kindness. And when that's genuine and they feel that, you'll see a shift, you know? Um and then teaching becomes a joy, not a chore.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

Yeah, because right now it's a chore for a lot of people, but it can definitely be a joy. I'm with you.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

Absolutely. After 26 years, I can I can say that.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

How many more do you have left in the tank?

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Three.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

All right, not 30, 29. We'll cut it at 29.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Three more.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Well, I really appreciate you again. This was an amazing conversation, so comfortable. Um really insightful for me. We've again we've spoken about it in bits and pieces, but to just hear it all together is just surreal what you had to go through, what you experienced, and I just appreciate you, you know, empowering teachers who are listening.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Two things before we leave, really quickly. One, I always like to leave with the exit ticket, so I'll look straight at the camera for this. Your exit ticket, um, comment down below what is your responsibility. Right, my mom just said that the students in her classroom are her responsibility, their learning was her responsibility. If you're still listening, comment down below. What is your responsibility, your responsibility that you're committing to to make sure it happens for your students in the classroom and students that are in your care? What's your responsibility? I'm really interested. Other than that, the very last thing is what I do with all my guests because of the way that you showed up for the last 26 years, going on to 29, as an educator in elementary school, as a counselor, just empowering other people. Two-time teacher of the year, inspiration to me. When people say, I would say I never had a teacher that was a highly effective teacher, but my mom was that teacher for me, right? And that the way that you inspired me to step in education has now obviously inspired thousands of other people as well. So I really appreciate you. Thank you for showing up.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Absolutely. So we're gonna get you your impactful educator shirt. Yeah. I'll get that for you. Let's change your design and all that. But thanks for being an impactful educator that's leaving an impact on this world that we cannot even be able to quantify.

SPEAKER_00 46:11

Yes, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 46:12

That's it. Appreciate you talking to me today, and that's it for us. You know, make sure that you tap back in on the next episode of the New TJ Big Impact Podcast. Remember, you got this, and I've got you. See you in the next one. I hope new teachers become the teachers they've always wanted to be and make the impact our students deserve. Because I've been there. I know what it's like to struggle, to feel like I'm not enough, but I also know what's on the other side: excitement, fulfillment, and the ability to change lives. Every great teacher was once a new teacher, and new teachers are often excited and eager and anxious, but a lot of times, new teachers lack the foundational skills of effective instruction. Every teacher that I work with, I carry them through this journey, helping them master the principles of effective instruction so that they know how capable they are. I can't wait to see these teachers enact. They're 1% amazing and make the difference that only they can. If you would like for your school district to be empowered as well, you can click the link down below and our team will reach out to you.